12-30-09 Ummm...

Kind of speaks for itself. Link.

12-29-09 My Life In Show Biz

I have Evan to thank for the title. "Awesome" was doing a three-day stint for Winterfest at Seattle Center, playing in - you guessed it - the food court. Although it ended up being a surprisingly fun and loose set of shows, it was definitely one of the weirdest places we've played.



The song turned out pretty good, and has the distinction of having one of the saddest kazoo solos ever recorded.

12-19-09 Chili Dump

This day last year was our early Christmas celebration with the Ackermann family. Instead of a traditional turkey dinner, the family does what is affectionately known as the Chili Dump - everyone brings in a pot of chili. Because what's better than chili for dinner? Three different kinds of chili, that's what.

My nephew Shane (who was in 8th grade when this was recorded) is the co-writer and co-performer on this one. With a song title like 'Chili Dump', it would be a crime if the song didn't have a hot trombone solo in it. Thanks, Shane!

Shane and Snuggie.

12-18-09 Beer & Bowling

It's a night out for the Ackermann clan, Milwaukee-style: brewery tour, TGI Friday's, bowling, and karaoke. An epic night. Everything in this song is true.

12-17-09 Chicken Foot

...And we move from Cribbage on to dominoes. We played this slightly maddening variation on traditional dominoes called Chicken Tracks. You can build off of other dominoes in groups of three to make patterns that look like - you guessed it - chicken tracks.



The reason it's maddening is that the tracks can be built off of any other domino, so that by the end of the game the table is a chaotic mess of dominoes pointing in all directions. Not unlike what real chicken tracks must look like. So the song is just a little bit maddening, too. I really love the way it turned out, though, especially the messy splats of high notes played on the wrong side of the bridge of the mandolin. Here it is!

12-10-09 Goin' To Milwaukee

...And now the baritone has turned into a full-on basso profundo. (Well, not profundo, let's say moderato.)

We were heading to my hometown of Milwaukee for the holidays. The song details some Ackermann family holiday traditions, at least up to the last verse.

11-25-09 Rainy Night

This song was played on a guitar made of a shoebox, paper towel roll, and rubber bands. (Musical instrument crafts for kids! That end up being way harder to execute than you thought! So that you're basically just making it for them rather than showing them how it's done! How do I get out of these parentheses!) Notice the Eddie Van Halen stripes on it. I don't think the kids appreciated the reference.

The song itself is a lame attempt at a Tom Waitsian ramble.

11-18-09 Did It Taste Bad, Pa?

This will take some explaining.

During the course of the Intiman show (Abe Lincolin in Illinois), I came to memorize large sections of the text. (I was onstage for about 80% of the show. I played music for about 10% of it.) The language was very colloquial, and bits of this antiquated dialogue would get stuck in my head.

I got the idea to record a bit of dialogue from every member of the cast - just a word or a catch phrase, if they happened to have one. (The only exception was Langston, who played fiddle during the show, so it made sense record a sample of his playing.) The idea was to make a sort of aleatory piece, a la The Books, something that incorporated these bits of text into a musical form. One of the young actors in the show, Hannah, speaks a line as Abe's son, asking him about the medicine used to treat a sick child. I discovered that the way she said the line had a very distinct melody. That's how it all started out. Throw in a dance beat, and it pretty much writes itself.

I don't expect it to make much sense to anyone not involved with the show, but for me, it's hilarious and awesome. Thanks to the cast for making this weird piece happen.

11-11-09 Cooter Pie

Thanks to Russell Hodgkinson for the inspiration for this song, provided backstage during performances of Abe Lincoln In Illinois. I think his version is much better, but I believe it may be lost in the mists of time.



I almost sound like an actual blues guitarist in this song. Almost.

10-22-09 Absolutely Nothing

One of those days when a dearth of lyrical ideas actually makes for a catchy little tune. Link.

10-2-09 Don't You Go Spreadin' Yer Pizen

Hey, there, o tens of readers. Sorry, I fell off the wagon for a bit. This whole getting-ready-to-be-a-dad thing takes up a fair amount of psychic energy. And the countdown continues...

Last year, I was part of a production at Intiman Theatre called Abe Lincoln In Illinois. I was onstage for most of the show, in my musician corner, and got to hear (and almost memorize) large sections of dialogue. One bit of dialogue that tickled me considerably was that of a country ruffian threatening a newcomer to their town for defaming President Andrew Jackson. This song goes out to Matt Shimkus (who's just become a dad himself). Link.

9-30-09 Not Your Friend

One of my favorites of the Paul Gude songs. My attempt at a Mountain Goats type of song. Link.

9-21-09 real thing

Tossed off, but hilarious. Sometimes they just come out that way. link.

9-11-09 Cheeks On The Glass

Uh-oh.

This one's kind of terrible, but in a really fun way. This was recorded in the Portland Hilton with Sarah, on our anniversary weekend. We'd been listening to a lot of Serge Gainsbourg on the way up, and it spawned this. The title actually came first, thanks to an unfortunate photo taken in our hotel bathroom of, well, cheeks on glass. Use your imagination. Or don't.

7-17-09 Faster Than Trains

I really like the character in this song. Unreliable narrators are very liberating to write for once you figure out how they're unreliable. I think I'd been listening to a lot of Mountain Goats at the time. Link.

7-8-09 Kids

Disclaimer: I actually think kids are great. I'm going to have one of my own soon. But when you work at a preschool, sometimes you just feel this way. Link.

7-2-09 150 Flea

That's 150 flea, not fleas.

Another installment of wonderfully twisted lyrical genius courtesy of Mr. Paul Gude. It feels a bit like a sea shanty to me. As if sung by Drinky Crow from "Maakies".

link.

6-27-09 Rub The Goiter

Boy, this one's gonna be hard to explain.

Okay, so whilst visiting Milwaukee (Waukesha, to be more precise), I shared a night of bar-hopping, bowling, and 99 cent tacos with my sisters Julie and Lisa, my brother-in-law Dennis, and my niece Jenna. At one point during the bowling portion of our evening, Dennis pulled out this mangy rabbit's foot that he rubs for good luck. He's had it so long that the fur is mostly gone, and so it's a grisly sight - mostly bone and tufts of hair on a keychain. I'm not sure who said it first, but someone indicated that it wasn't so much like rubbing a rabbit's foot, so much as it was like rubbing a goiter. Of course, the expression stuck throughout the rest of the evening. (Sadly, there was no photo taken of said goiter.)



The next night, I was showing my mom how I make these little treasures on Garage Band. So I created this song at the dinner table with her sitting by. She actually helped out with some of the lyrics, and that's her laughing at the end. Link

5-20-09 When You Sneeze

short but sneezy. I recorded the uke part first. I stuck with the first take, ending in a cathartic sneeze by my wife. The rest of the song pretty much writes itself. Link.

5-2-09 Bblorted? Blorted B!

Okay, this one is so intentionally annoying it's almost funny. Almost. This was another Bananagrams-inspired song. When we get sick of playing it the regular way, we like to take a bunch of letters and make up new words. The fun is in defining the word. On this particular night, the word was Bblorted. The song quickly turned into a jingle for a product called Blorted B. "If you're feeling bblorted, why not try new Blorted B?" Of course, those lyrics aren't actually in the song. Wow, such a long explanation for such a ridiculous song. Link!